20 Weeks

We're at the HALFWAY MARK!!!  and it's freaking me out.  Labor freaks me out! 

The past 2 weeks have been good except for having this horrible cold (I think it's Bronchitis)  I have never felt so miserable.  It's been tricky taking meds and making sure the baby is ok.  I've ended up taking Robitussin and then Tylenol in between for the aches.  THE BEST part was on Christmas Eve while I was feeling so sick, chills, fever and as I'm laying by Aimee's fireplace-I felt the baby!  It was the perfect gift!  I love to feel the baby everyday and know that everything is safe in there. The baby this week is 10.5 ounces & about 10 inches long  (think banana)

I haven't had many cravings.  I love ranch!  It has to be yummy ranch but I love it more these days.  Especially on salad.  We went to Golden Corral with Craig's parents and I ate 2 plates of salad because it was soooo good.  I have eaten some not-so-good things for me as we went out of town and I'm trying to refocus on fruits & veggies & healthier options.  I started at 164 (my scale) and am now at 177 (+13 pounds)  I was trying really hard to be at 10 pounds at the half way mark.  Once I can get this cold over with I can start up my work out again.  I still don't like water and drink a lot of orange juice or if I need a pick-me-up I like to drink Diet Dr. Pepper w/cherry.  I don't crave sweet-if anything I am always wanting salty things. 

Besides being sick, I do still have energy and don't feel like the baby bump gets in the way of much. I'm trying to get Hadi to stop being held as I know that will need to stop soon.  I've also notice more discharge down below and also my milk is getting ready.  I'm still wearing most of my normal clothes but am for sure out of size 12.  I wear mostly my size 14's with a rubberband.  My next appointment is coming up in a few weeks and we are SOOO excited to see what this baby is going to reveal.  I'm still feeling it's a boy!

18 Weeks

I'm posting a day early but it's going to be a busy weekend in Utah alone.  Grandma Anderton passed away and will be with family. 

My baby this week is 5 1/2 inches and 7 ounces!  I can't believe I'm already at 18 weeks! 

I've been feeling great!  I love that I have energy & I'm not sick.  I do find that I'm more hungry but I try to choose good meals and not junk calories.  So far to this point I've only gained 11 pounds.  I've tried so hard to eat good options for me & the baby.  I do splurge a little bit but I don't go overboard.  I do find that I crave mostly salty foods so I think that helps too.  I've also been doing my Jane Fonda work out video.  It's only 20 minutes and my goal is 5-6 times a week.  I notice when I do it, I have more energy and feel great so it's worth the time & effort. 

I haven't really felt the baby.  Every once in a while I'll feel something tiny that I'm pretty sure is the baby, but no for sure kicks or nudges.  I also do check his/her heart beat still and I love hearing it!  I've gotten good at finding it pretty quickly. 

Names are a touch subject at this point.  When you aren't pregnant or it's not your own, it's fun.  I find it stressful!  For a boy at this point we like: Aiden, Caison, Drew, Isak, Wesley-although I like Weston better, Bodey, Camden.  For middle names if it goes well I think it'll be Reid.  Craig loves the name and would do for his first name, but I like better for a middle name.  Obviously we know all my middle names are a meaning-so this is named after Aimee & Kyle and their family  <3   Other options if they don't flow is Joseph? Larry?  Haven't talked too much about it.
For a girl the only name we like-but I don't love is Brynnley.  Who knows the middle name?  Maybe Leigh or Jo?  I mostly want to take a baby name break until mid-January when we find out the sex.  Yay! 

1st TRIMESTER

One thing I would never recommend: being pregnant & moving at the same time!  Talk about exhausting & stressful!  I am very thankful Craig took care of soo much & details while I was a slump on the couch. 

FOODS:  Oh boy I got sick from about week 6 1/2.  It came on fast.  I hated, hated, HATED food!  But obviously you have to eat.  I tried to eat as many things that had fiber as well as protein.  I went through a lot of string cheese-most days 2 a day.  And I would gag it down with juice.  I hate cheese!  But it was a quick fix to a hunger pain.  I hated water.  Made me so sick and still don't prefer it.  I didn't want anything sweet.  If anything I wanted salt & yummy food---when food did sound appealing.  I went through about 2 boxes of shredded wheat a week.  It was another fast fix that sounded ok and felt good in my stomach.  I hated anything way seasoned, anything in any bit greasy...just food was yuck!  A couple times I did crave things and I would eat it and the next day revolted it.  A few things I remember were onion rings, Olive Garden, nuts, chocolate milk w/tuna sandwich.  Food just sucked. I did what I could do get through the 13 weeks. 

MY DAY USUALLY:  I was still babysitting Jace & Cyra up until the last week we were in Wa.  I felt super bad about this as I felt icky most days.  At first I was super sick in the morning but then after about 7 weeks it changed.  I was ok in the morning but then once about 3or4 hit, I was sick most the night and got worst as the night continued.  Most days I spent LOTS of time sleeping, laying on the couch, laying on the floor, laying everywhere!  I didn't have energy to do anything...my poor kids!  They watched lots of shows while I laid. I was glad the days that the kids were over to play with the girls to give them something to do.  I tried at first to exercise, but when you feel yucky, it's the last thing on my mind. 

MY FIRST APPOINTMENT:  Didn't happen!  I called when I was 8 weeks to schedule just to get a first appointment of heartbeat, blood & exam.  I called & they wouldn't see me until I was 12 weeks!!!!  We were to move the day I turned 12 weeks.  They wouldn't even budge to see me a tiny bit earlier.  I was ticked!  Especially after our last baby.  Although I felt everything was ok. We decided to buy a doppler since we wouldn't get in until I was 16 weeks.  I check it at least 2-3 times a week but it was such a great sound to hear.  It was the piece of mind I needed.

So to sum up the 1st trimester: puke (can't take meds anymore) gross foods, gagging down anything, lots of sleep & GLAD TO HAVE IT DONE!!!!

Well the cat is out of the bag!  We're preggers again!  #4 times the charm

HOW WE FOUND OUT:   Friday, Sept 26, Craig got the phone call offering him his new job. We were sooo excited!  We spent the night getting pizza and talking a ton about if it would be a good financial move for our family.  It was quite exhausting with all the details of everything.  So much to decide & do.  That night as I tucked the girls in bed, I had the thought come--watch we'll be pregnant & moving.  Up to this point we hadn't really been "trying" but also weren't on any preventions either, but hadn't been since the last baby in December.  Saturday morning Craig went to basketball and was excited to because he wanted to clear his head & also talk to Adam about working for the federal government.  I woke up and my ta-tas were super sore.  I hadn't really been "counting" the days or even knew if it was "time"  Some months I'm a few days late.  As I was about to use the bathroom I thought, what the heck, let's test (I had one from the last baby)  Within seconds 2 pink lines showed up.  Definetely pregnant!

 I couldn't believe it.  The timing; the way it worked out; how we haven't even been trying; how Hadi & the last baby were difficult to see the positive test.   And here it was.  Craig was going to be home in a few minutes and we both had no idea that this was even an option!  So I hid the stick and waited.  He walked in the door and I brought up small talk about the job and if he'd been thinking more about if he wanted to take the job.  Then I said "well, we have a problem"  Then I pulled out the test.  He was shocked!  Here's the pic right after

 Now the problem of moving while being pregnant as we did accept the job!!!  Oh and I took another test a few days later.

Thinking back on the week I found out, one thing that stuck out to me that should've been a signal was I went running 3 miles one night and it took everything out of me.  It was so hard and exhausting and I hadn't even been going as fast.  Then when I stopped I was super crampy but to me I thought it was that time getting ready.....yes, getting ready for baby! 

Excitement, Fear, Faith, Joy, Hope, Numb, Love

Dealing with nausea was easy knowing you were in there

Giving up much-knowing you were there

Late nights fantasizing about you growing in me

Playing with clothes dreaming of you wearing them, our little boy

Having the best 2 older sisters to play and dress up with, our little girl

Plans being made and days thinking of how you’ll be with us as we travel, 

snuggled safe between your 2 sisters.

My heart skipped a beat seeing you the first time and an instant smile knowing you were in me

Excitement for our little family of 5

Common fears and a heartbeat yearning to hear

Fear, Worry, Fear, Worry, Stress!

Uncertainty but again another time to see you, knowing you were there

Joy with answers; joy with hope for the future; joy of being your mommy

Hope for more answers

Hope for your little body growing

Hope for that sweet sound to assure you’re okay

Hope that in a few months I would prove that you’re okay

                        Love for you!  Love that I was chosen to be your   mommy.  Love-you were real and you were in there.  Love for the                   home that I started to make for you. 
                                            Love in you!!!  

I won’t hold you.  I won’t hear your little heart beat.  I won’t see your first smile.  I won’t hear your first newborn laugh.  I won’t meet you or know who you were.  I won’t have you to lay with me.  I won’t put on your clothes and you won’t play with your sisters. 

BUT we love you!  You were real!  You showed that to me.  You were there! 

You showed us what love is.  You showed us that life is too fragile to take advantage of.  You showed me an appreciation for your daddy & sisters.  You reminded me that love is all around me.  You give me hope for the future and that love does exist and love does heal the heart.  I’ll never forget you my number 3.